I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on how much of our vital energy is scattered and taken hostage by people who have hurt us and situations that have caused us wounding in the past.
I’ve been thinking about how some of my own past wounds still affect my beliefs about the world and my safety in it.
What I’ve discovered is, somehow, I still believe I don’t deserve to succeed, that actually being passionate about my work is indulgent and self-serving…and here’s the mother of all my harmful emotional patterns: I still believe if I actually admit to being happy, someone is going to come by soon and take it all away from me.
Why do I believe these things? Why do I let these thoughts get in the way of my cherishing this imperfect but beautiful life I live?
What I’ve come to understand is that so many of us inherently do not trust the world to give us what we need. We carry our past disappointments like armour, guarding us against totally giving ourselves over to happiness, peace and contentment. We’re convinced that “what goes up, must come down,” that we’re forever enslaved to the wheel of fate, and that one good thing will soon bring with it five bad things.
In essence, we create and recreate our own suffering, first by thinking painful thoughts in our mind, then by watching those thoughts manifest in ripples across the rest of our lives without doing anything to stop it.
But we can stop it. We can stop the proliferation of pain. When we don’t heal our own suffering and allow it to fester, we allow our pain to filter out into the world. When we seek out our own healing, we become a source of healing for the rest of the world. And it begins right here, right now, with our own body, with our own thoughts, and with our own heart.
For me, the inner revolution is in the simplest of actions–in taking a deep breath before reacting, in beginning to observe where your thoughts go and what your underlying beliefs are, and unknotting the hurt little by little by flooding yourself with kindness and presence and love. I’ve been practising sitting with the pain that I feel, giving it the space to express itself as it needs to (this might mean a walk outside and it might mean an angry letter that I shred and burn), and slowly dissolving the pain through self-compassion, through hugs and meditation and colouring and walks in nature and not suppressing myself when my pain needs an outlet. At the end of this healing process, I make a point of stating my conscious choice to release that pain so that I don’t contribute any more suffering to this world. I commit to this promise through daily compassionate self-talk and presence and gradually find the pain dissolves on its own. All it takes is orienting myself to that path of healing, making that intention, and watching that journey unfold with as little inner resistance as possible.
Pain breeds more and more energy blockages. It’s only through the recognition that we contribute to the world either our suffering or our healing that we truly understand the importance and responsibility of taking care of ourselves first.
Wishing you peace, love and freedom of heart, wherever you are ❤
P.S. If you’re in Toronto this week, come to my Heart Healing workshop where I guide others through the deeply healing rituals I use to release wounds and invite in more expansive heart energy. It’s a chance for renewal, especially as we move into the Spring Season! You’ll enjoy some healing yoga, meditation, group reiki and releasing rituals to help you let go of what no longer serves your highest good.
I also have some Reiki appointments available this week if you need some one-on-one healing work and would like some detailed insight into where there may be blockages in your energy system. Reiki is great for alleviating suffering in the body, mind and spirit.
And don’t forget you can email me any time at firstname.lastname@example.org with questions, comments, or just to chat!
When we let go of our suffering, we participate in the healing of all beings.